Gender Agenda newsletter: Ask yourself why, or why not

It is customary for media houses to dig into reasons a person commits a crime, especially if the crime has deeper social implications. On February 18, a father killed his ex-wife and child, at a school ice hockey match in Rhode Island, in the US. He killed himself thereafter. The headlines that followed were of two types: regulated reportage and gender-identity-driven framing.

‘Shooting at Rhode Island youth hockey game leaves 3 dead, including shooter, and 3 more wounded,’ said AP. Somewhere deep into the story the report stated that the police chief of the area had “identified the shooter as Robert Dorgan, who she said also went by the name Roberta Esposito and was born in 1969,” not using the word transgender.

The Times, however, ran the headline, ‘Rhode Island shooting: transgender father kills son and ex-wife at school ice hockey game,’ going on to say, “The suspect Robert Dorgan, who also used the name Roberta, had a history of disputes with his family and divorced his wife five years ago after changing gender.”

The language and framing of the stories we tell, whether loudly in the media (social or otherwise) or to ourselves in our minds, matter. They shape our thoughts and behaviours. Many of us use the language of authority figures, so we approach an event or incident not via curiosity, but by accepting the status quo, simply echoing the prevailing thought.

Curiosity makes us ask questions, and leads us, through information, to the truth. While the AP headline and story leave us with questions, The Times headline feeds us answers riddled with biases. The person who wreaked havoc has not been asked, ‘Why?’

We need more people to ask the ‘why’ or ‘why not’ question. These devadasis did, taking Kathak from intimate gatherings to the stage.

This film did too, through the connection between a young mother in an abusive relationship and her daughter’s constipation.   

As did the mothers of disabled and neurodiverse children, who have introduced a dating service on their Buddy Up Network, an inclusive social networking app. Why ever not?!

Toolkit

The Boston Medical Center with its associates, has developed a ‘Glossary for Cultural Transformation’, with a Gender and Sexual Diversity section. In it are terms such as “gender diverse”, “misgender”, and “gender equity”. Under “assigned sex at birth”, the glossary clarifies: “Science favors the fact that sex and gender are more complicated and involve much more than one’s sexual organs.”

Wordsworth

Burnout feminism

The business and financial news service, Bloomberg, wrote a feature headlined ‘Why ‘Burnout’ Feminism Is Replacing the Girlboss, Lean In Era’. It speaks about “hustle culture’s excesses” and the effect it has had on women’s physical and mental health. The phrase isn’t new though, and not restricted to the workplace, though the wage gap and unpaid work contribute to it. It’s an umbrella term that writer Anne Helen summarises as, “I CAN’T BELIEVE I’M STILL PROTESTING THIS SHIT.” Women killed for dowry, marrying out of their caste, just being a girl child. It’s exhausting.

Ouch!

The Bhajanlal government produced a baby boy with its first budget. He again produced a boy in the second and third budgets. A person who produces boys at a young age is good. Former Chief Minister Gehlot made some announcements in his last budget, but a girl was born, not a boy. This is why he is in the opposition now.

Bahadur Singh Koli, Rajasthan BJP MLA, comparing the BJP to the Congress

Woman we met

Bhuri Bai, who works as a Bhil artist in Bhopal’s tribal museum, says she started painting her home in Jhabua, Madhya Pradesh, as early as 6. Later, when she came to Bhopal to work as a labourer, she says Jagdish Swaminathan, who created the Roopankar Museum in Bhopal’s multi-arts complex Bharat Bhavan, encouraged her to work on paper and on canvas. Among the Bhils, a tribal community across several States in India, she says that when people marry, the man’s side of the family pays the woman’s side. “Many men have to sell their land just for this, and then when the woman gets married, she is told, ‘We paid so much for you; now serve us.’” She feels this is one reason the Bhils still live in poverty.

Published – February 21, 2026 07:44 pm IST